Love, love, L-O-V-E

Valentines Day...a day to let the ones you love know how very special they are. Granted I agree that this shouldn't be saved for just one day each year but I don't mind taking extra time on this day for the loves in my life.

This is something that my Dad has done for YEARS. My sister and I always knew that Mom was his #1 Valentine and love of his life, but Dad always made sure to let us know that there was plenty of room in his heart for each of us too. He always had a box of chocolates for us and plenty of hugs and kisses. It didn't matter what happened at school that day - who got flowers or special notes, who didn't - I always knew I was loved and valued.

And this love continues to the next generation. Who knew this would be part of Dad's legacy. Jeter wished each of us a Happy Valentines Day this morning and had a candy for each of us too. Simms told me last night that Barber asked his Daddy if they could go to the store and buy me a ring. Too cute - what a precious heart. Obviously they didn't. But, I don't need a ring...just their hugs and kisses and love is more than enough for me. My two little guys found a love note from me today at their seats with a heart-shaped box of chocolates - reminding them that they are special, a treasured blessing from God, and that they are loved.

One thing is different about this Valentine's Day. Dad goes for his first chemotherapy treatment. Promises is bringing him today...I'm bringing him next time. I talked to him this morning and wished him a Happy Valentine's Day. I also prayed with my Dad and told him how much I loved him. I wanted to talk to Mom next but I knew Dad was filling out a card for her and I didn't want to interrupt their time together...the two cutest sweethearts I know.

Next step...get to work on my to-do lists...except the song(s) that 88.1 Word FM has been playing throughout this morning caused a change in plans. Talk about getting wrecked and encouraged all at the same time. It's all good though...He's just reminding me that He loves me a whole bunch too.

Daddy...my 1st Valentine.




Rescue by Desperation Band

You are the source of the life
I can’t be left behind
No one else will do
I will take hold of You

I need You Jesus
To come to my rescue
Where else can I go
There’s no other name by
Which I am saved
Capture me with grace
I will follow You

This world has nothing for me
I will follow You
This world has nothing for me
I will follow You

I Still Love You...I Still Need You...

This is where my heart is right now. Valentines Day is Monday. This is the same day as my Dad's first chemo treatment. Lots of emotions yet, amidst it all, my spirit declares the verse of this song

No matter what, I’m gonna love You
No matter what I’m gonna need You
I know that You can find a way to keep me from the pain
But if not, if not, I’ll trust You no matter what, no matter what

I especially love this video because of the Bible verses that are included. Huge encouragement.

Healing is in His Hands

Winter blues. They say that some people are affected by the weather and lack of sun. I don't doubt that. That being said, this winter, even if I wanted to, I haven't had time to sit around and feel all 'bluey'.

Completely random thought here (and nothing to do with this post) - who first came up with 'blue' as synonymous for sad? I personally like the color blue - it's refreshing and calming to me. And if you noticed, when there is a lack of sunlight in the sky it's usually because of the clouds that keep the sunlight out - which to me are white or a stormy-looking grey.

So...why has my winter been so busy? Well, I don't really have time to go into all the details but long story short, my Mom was hit hard with pneumonia and a staph infection in her blood - originally diagnosed as influenza. She was admitted to the hospital (SICU) December 30th and was then transferred to a Rehabilitation Hospital January 11th. She continues to progress and is scheduled to be discharged home next week where she will continue to receive therapy as an outpatient. Needless to say, our family (includes my family and my sister's family) have been busy caring for both Mom and Dad. No time for the 'blues'. No need for it either. We've had so many people - family, friends, and prayer warriors at churches of family and friends and our own - covering us daily in prayer.

We've stated that we are living a testimony right now...and everyone that is linked to us through this is living it too.

If you know me or have even been reading this blog for any length of time, then you know that I just absolutely love music and that what draws me in more than anything else is the lyrics. This song has definitely ministered to me quite a bit - especially over the past 3 weeks.

Hope Anthem

HOPE ANTHEM - Will Matthews & Christa Black

He's awakening the hope in me
By calling forth my destiny
He's breathing life into my soul
I thirst for Him and Him alone

He has come like the rain
That showers on a barren land
So my heart and tongue confess
Jesus Christ hope of man

MY HOPE IS IN YOU GOD
I AM STEADFAST I WILL NOT BE MOVED
I'M ANCHORED NEVER SHAKEN
ALL MY HOPE IS IN YOU
ALL MY HOPE IS IN YOU

He's bringing hope to the hopeless
Giving His heart to the broken
Sharing His home with the orphan
He is the joy, He is my joy!

He is the hope of the nations
The father's heart we're embracing
He is the song we're declaring
He is the joy, He is my joy!

Those who wait on the Lord
Will not be put to shame
Those who sow in tears
We will reap in joy

Joy comes in the morning light
Joy comes in the morning light

There's joy in the waiting
There's hope in the waiting
Do you believe it?
Do you believe it?

He's awakening the hope in me
By calling forth my destiny

Do You See What I See?

When you look at this picture what do you see?

Winter. Death. Cold. Those are some words that could come to mind and they would be valid.

I see life - and the potential of it. There is a protective covering - that isn't necessarily pretty - that keeps this bud safe throughout the severe temperatures and storms of winter. The result is that when spring comes it bursts forth with a beautiful bloom.

There are a lot of parallels to my life and the lives of my loved ones. Circumstances don't particularly look great - there are signs of debilitation and increased weakness. And yet, there has been an increase in a sense of being surrounded and protected which has provided what I've referenced as an irrational peace.

I believe that there is going to be a new season - a spring. And when it is time, the old will pass away and the new bloom is going to burst forth. The difficulty is timing...I don't know when winter will pass. What I do know is that while in this season, I am choosing to focus on the potential of new life that exists and is being protected. I know that the protection is present and we will withstand the storms and/or severe conditions. That 'knowing' is my faith and it is continually strengthened as I spend time in His Presence.

Healing and Revelation

December 1st is right around the corner. Trust me I'm not rushing past Thanksgiving or November but I'm a planner - or at the very least I don't want to procrastinate to the point of no return - and December 1st is an important day in our home.

This is when we start our special countdown to Christmas. We started this tradition in 2006 and each year we've had a different theme. We've discussed 24 things God created, 24 men in the Bible who followed God, 24 people that heard from God, etc. This year we are going to explore and discuss 24 healings / miracles.

I think somehow I'll incorporate this song...we'll see.

Take a moment and listen...just remember to pause the player.

Healing is in Your Hand by Christy Nockels

On another note - have you ever heard of Manga Bible by Rogers? It's a graphic novel that summarizes the Bible. Some people like it. Some don't. Jeter really like the series. He's read through it at least two times and is on his third time through. Barber began to ask about it today. I took time to explain that this is a summary and the author uses some liberties - such as the conversations that Cain and Abel are having with one another. I also reminded him that I would love to talk to him about anything he reads.

Barber sat and read for almost an hour. He first asked me why they had to sacrifice sheep. We talked about that and the importance of the sacrifice that Jesus made - tied in why He is referred to as the Lamb of God. I saw the "aha" look on his face and then he smiled saying "now that's another thing I'm thankful to Jesus for because I was feeling bad for the lambs and I am really glad that we don't have to do that anymore." He also told me that although he knew that Cain did something really wrong, he still feels bad for him because he had to go away from everyone and be all by himself in Nod. I absolutely love the sensitivity and compassion that our Creator has woven into this precious son of mine!

How Deep is that Well?

This afternoon, after I was surrounded by 18 first graders for over an hour, I stopped by my parents and just spent time with them until I had to pick up the boys from the bus stop. I could have just gone straight home, gotten another load of laundry done and finish up the dishes that got dirty from my meal prep earlier today. I also have carpets and floors that need attention, surfaces that need to be wiped down and more laundry. There is always laundry. But I just wanted to hang out with two of my best friends...my mom and dad.

There wasn't anything super special...Dad had an old t-shirt on and a baseball cap. He still has that sparkle in his eye. It's just difficult to ignore the fact that those same sparkly blue eyes look tired and because I love and know him, I notice how uncomfortable he really is even though he's trying not to show it.

This afternoon, I'm allowing my Father to comfort me and give me peace.

This is one of my favorite songs / hymns. I have two versions below. If you are super conservative, you will enjoy the instrumental of the first one. If you like when a new edge/flair is added, then you will definitely like the second.

Me? I dabble in both - I have a love and taste for the original and I enjoy when the feeling of the song is still there even when the artist has tinkered with the arrangement. I cannot even tell you how many times I've listened to both of these. So if you're like me, live dangerously and listen to both of them. Just not at the same time. Now that would be silly.

NOTE: hit the pause button on the player in the right margin.

Walking Through Quicksand

Life marches on.

It doesn't really matter what you're going through or what loved ones are facing, the second hand keeps ticking and time continues. What's a girl to do? This one keeps on moving - even if it feels like quicksand - attempting to live in the now and handle stuff as it comes.

How does that look right now?

It means that I smile at Barber as he learns to swim the breaststroke - even though I know my Dad was planning to be there but couldn't because of the pain he was experiencing that morning. Yes, even as I type that, it brings tears to my eyes but I cannot allow that sadness to steal my joy. My joy as a mom witnessing her son experiencing some success. Yes, he still has the safety of his instructor's hand under his stomach and his head barely goes below the surface of the water, BUT his arms and legs are following the pattern that his instructor exemplified and that puts a smile on my face no matter what is going on.

It means that I take joy in having my parents and sister's family over for an impromptu dinner. Nothing fancy (Salsa Stoup and Double Decker Quesadillas - thank you Rachel Ray) but the time to sit and talk with one another around the dinner table is priceless.

It means that I attempt to give 100%...whether it is watching the boys play/practice soccer, reading a book together, snuggling with Barber while he shows me all the cool things in a science / toy magazine, making lunches for the boys, tying laces to soccer cleats or sneakers, listening to Jeter practice the trumpet, etc.

It means that I'm still working on my menu planning (I do two weeks at a time), laundry, try to keep milk in the refrigerator, etc.

It also means that when I hear a song on the radio and/or am thinking/praying for my Dad that I let the tears come to my eyes and even slide down my cheeks.

Truth is, I'm pretty good at most of this stuff most of the time. Some days are a little more difficult than others. Periodically there is a day when I feel like I didn't do anything. But I can't afford to get stuck there...I have to pick myself up again because if I don't then I'm going to miss out on parts of life - and in real life there is no pause or rewind button. Although that would be a nice feature to have regarding laundry because I have definitely fallen behind again. Actually a fast forward button would be great to have when it comes to laundry. hahaha.

Meanwhile, here's a song that got to me today...

I Will Rise

Chris Tomlin I Will Rise

No Matter What

Silence my music on the right and hit play...I don't have a Matthew, Bestie or Iyan in my life - the video is basically names of those that the person loves no matter what. It's a new release so there aren't many choices on youtube right now. Meanwhile, listen to the lyrics and be blessed.

I Will Follow You...

Let The Waters Rise by MIKESCHAIR

There are still Tears but I'm Trusting

Trust In Me Now by Cadia

I know you’re past
The point of breaking
Into pieces
I know you feel
Like there’s no reason
Even worth this
And when you cry
The tears that fall
Don’t even touch your pain

Even though you feel alone
Even though your strength is gone
As your weary heart just tries to hold on
Even if your faith is lost
Even if it’s hard to trust
In a love that would let the rain fall down
Trust In Me now

I can hear
Every prayer that goes unspoken
I feel the weight
Of everything that’s on your shoulders
Don’t give up
There is nothing we can’t overcome

CHORUS

I can see what you can’t see
I will hold you close to me
Through the storm until you see the light

CHORUS

He Hears. He Knows. He Cares.

Seeking and praying.

This has been the constant in my life lately - meaning it's been more pronounced in the last two months. My heart always desires to follow His leading and do what He's doing but sometimes there are just seasons where the need to be seeking and praying is stronger. This is where I've been.

And it has been a good time. He's revealed some things to me that are so precious and He's blessed me in mighty ways. That is what a loving Father does.

Yet there is still some stuff that hasn't been answered.

Today has been one where I've enjoyed just being in His presence. Knowing that He knows. He cares. He hears. These are truths that I believe but I love when He takes time to show it to me.

Like today when I was driving to church...I desired to just worship Him. I popped in my Desperation Band CD and joined in with My Savior Lives. To my surprise the CD then skipped from track 1 to track 8. I thought that was strange and reached to return to track 2 but just as I was about to I felt like I was supposed to listen to this track. Thankfully I yielded to that nudge.

I needed to hear the lyrics to Everlasting God.

One thing I know that I have found
Through all the troubles that surround
You are the rock that never fails
You never fail

One thing I know that I believe
Through every blessing I receive
You are the only one that stays
You always stay

You never change
You stay the same
You are the Everlasting God
You will remain
After the day is gone and things of worth have past
Everlasting God




The morning meeting went well and I was back home by 1:00 pm. To work I went. Getting the morning dishes into the dishwasher and cleaning out the sink. Straightening up the family room. Bringing the laundry to the basement and putting away some recent purchases into the pantry. I was about to head upstairs and tackle another task when I felt like I was to take a break. I started to shrug it off but it grew. So I went downstairs, got something to eat for a late lunch and sat down. It was then that two more songs blessed me - I had the radio on and had I continued working upstairs at that time I wouldn't have heard them.

The first one is Revelation by Third Day. Here is a snippet:

Give me a revelation
Show me what to do
'Cause I've been trying to find my way
I haven't got a clue
Tell me should I stay here,
Or do I need to move
Give me a revelation
I've got nothing without you.

Okay. Got it. He is hearing me loud and clear.



The second song is He Is by Mark Shultz (to hear the song on his website, scroll down and pause the advertisement...then select He Is on the player)

He is. He was. He always will be
Even when it feels like there is no one holding me
Be still my soul
He is.

These lyrics resonate with the song from this morning. It also reminds me to continue to Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10.

He hears.
He knows.
He cares.

Thankful to be Facing Tomorrow with Him

Be still and know that I am God ~Psalm 46:10. This is the theme of Rebecca St. James song Peace. I intended to share that with you at my corner but I was not a fan of the only version that was available on youtube. Then I came across this and...emotions - sometimes they are just there and you can't do anything about it except allow the water to flow.







Lion by Rebecca St. James

Mysterious
That's what I call You
I'm curious about You
I'm scared and not sure that You are safe
But Your eyes seem to say that You are good

This is not a dream that I'm living
This is just a world of Your own
You took me from all that I knew
Shown me how it feels to hope
With You with me, facing tomorrow together I can learn to fly
Feels like I'm living in a lion's mouth, but the lion is (an angel)

Wise eyes, You see the core of me
Your gentleness melts me
And now I know that words cannot describe
The power that I feel when I'm with You

Peace and power, love forever
Who am I to stand before You?
I am speechless
But in my weakness
You are here and all is well
You took me from all that I knew
Shown me how it feels to hope
With You with me, facing tomorrow together I can learn to fly
Feels like I'm living in a lion's mouth, but the lion is (an angel)

When the Going Gets Tough...

What do you do?

How do you handle the difficult stuff?

Do you have a best friend that you run to / confide in? Are you the shoulder that people seek out? Are you a planner? Fighter? Whiner? Cynic? You don't really have to answer these questions. I've just been doing some thinking.

Sometimes I'd like to allow myself to be a whiner. I rarely do...it's just not a means to an end. At least not the end I'm looking for. No matter how old you are, a temper tantrum doesn't resolve anything. I will say I have done all of the others - some with more frequency than others.

Simms' mom once described me as feisty. Simms says I am passionate. They are probably both correct. When it comes to things that are close to my heart (family, morals, faith) I am a fighter. But even fighters need time to train and rest or fatigue sets in.

My family has walked through so much - physically, spiritually, emotionally. Especially in this last year. I would love to say the journey is complete but that's not the truth. Can that really happen this side of eternity? That's a question to ponder another day.

I feel like we've been running a very long relay race with rare opportunities to pass the baton.

As always, He meets me where I am. Sometimes, it's just helpful to know that He knows what's going on. I mean I know He knows...but it's nice when He takes the time to remind me. This time it was through another blog which catalyzed my search for Elizabeth Hunnicutt's album On My Way. Well worth my time. Exactly what I needed. Here are some of the lyrics from her song On My Way that did me in tonight.

...I just have to keep moving not with vision but with faith...

I'm learning...

• how to walk on the way
• who I am on the way
• how to see on the way
• how to live on the way

And my/our journey continues...

You are My Masterpiece

If you haven't seen this yet...take the time.

The first time I saw this was at a women's meeting at our church. The message of Julie Meyer's song Paint your Picture coupled with Eileen's artistry is powerful.

A Peak into Barber's Heart

Radiant Worship was at our church last night. The concert was in the youth building but everyone was invited on Sunday so I decided to go. Simms had plans with Jeter so I was planning on bringing Barber.

I talked to him about it after preschool and decided to show him videos from their website. He immediately wanted to see the video below. After watching it one time he asked if he could see it again. Before doing so, I asked him if he understood what was transpiring in the video. This is what he told me:

Yes. There was this boy who kind of knew Jesus but didn't really celebrate him. He was a teenager who was in school and all. But then he prayed and began to celebrate Jesus. Then he told another boy about Jesus and he celebrated Jesus too. He was the teenager with his hat backwards. Then he told someone and they celebrated Jesus too and they all kept doing that until there was a lot of them celebrating Jesus!

Yup...he got it. At this point I still did not realize the full impact this had on him.



Before dinner I asked Barber to get his sneakers on so we would be ready to walk out the door after we ate. He disappeared upstairs and I continued to prepare dinner.

We were ready to eat and called Barber to the table. He came down and I noticed his feet were still sneakerless. I asked him where his sneakers were and Simms interjected that they were in his car. Okay...

We ate and were preparing to leave when Barber asked "Mommy, do you want to know what I was doing in my room before?" I answered with a "yes" and he then both told and showed me.

I was worshipping. I was doing this (he stood with his arms outstretched, eyes closed and kind of moving his arms back and forth) like the boy with the hat backwards and then I was doing this (he knelt on the floor bowing to the ground) like the first boy who decided to celebrate Jesus.

Needless to say this Mama was dually blessed last night. It was wonderful to participate in corporate worship with Radiant Worship but no words can express how blessed I was to see my 5 year old give glory to God with his words and actions - singing, raising his hands and even dancing.

If that wasn't enough, on the way home Barber asked me if we could do this together every time. He also asked if Jeter didn't already have something scheduled, could we bring him too. Obviously I said yes to both of these questions. Finally he declared "When I am a teenager I am going to do that too mom. I am going to do concerts like they (Radiant Worship) do." He then allowed his eyes to close and fell asleep on the way home.

Singing Here I Am with Downhere

Take 5 and listen to this song. The group is called Downhere and I really like them a lot. Great lyrics and I enjoy their harmonies. The video is from one of their concerts so it is a little difficult to hear all the words or even appreciate their talent - and you know me, I'm all about the meaning of the lyrics - so I've posted them below. This album might be a great gift for a mom you might know...hint hint nudge nudge wink wink say no more say no more...lol. Oh...and if the video and lyrics intrigue you enough, check out Downhere's official website where you can sample their album Ending is Beginning.

Here I Am
from the Downhere album "Ending is Beginning"

Sometimes your calling comes in dream
Sometimes it comes in the Spirit's breeze
You reach for the deepest hope in me
And call out for the things of eternity

But I'm a man of dust and stains
You move in me so I can say...

Here I am, Lord send me
All of my life I make an offering
Here I am, Lord send me
Somehow my story is a part of your plan
Here I am

When setbacks and failures and upset plans
Test my faith and leave me with empty hands
Are you not the closest when it's hardest to stand?
I know that you will finish what you began

And these broken parts you redeem
Become the song that I can sing...

Overwhelmed by the thought of my weakness
And the fear that I'll fail You in the end
In this mess, I'm just one of the pieces
I can't put this together but You can

My Heart and Soul

Even when the tears are falling
When I find I fear the calling
You remind me
Words You've spoken over my life
Promises I've yet to see
You comfort me

God I'm crying out tonight
'Cause I've given You my life
But I'm tired and I'm missing what's behind
So once more, here's my life

Lyrics excerpted from Here's My Life by Barlow Girl

Decode This

You my God!
Altogether noravy.
Altogether sorafee.
Altogether noravy.
You my God!

The tune would probably help but I can't give you that type of hint. This is what Barber has been singing. Thankfully he was close enough to the melody that I knew he was singing his own version of Here I Am to Worship with tremendous conviction. The portion he was singing sounds like this to us: You're altogether lovely. Altogether worthy. Altogether wonderful to me. Even before I figured it out, our Father knew what he was saying and probably loved every mispronounced word even more than me.

I love my boys.