Campbell Crew

The Campbell Corner was started in 2006.  I've journaled for decades but this was the first time that I did it on-line and allowed others to view (and even comment) on my entries.  It was initially intended to allow family and friends that didn't live near us to stay updated on what was going on in our corner.

Surprisingly, more than just family and close friends began to read and comment.  Eventually the blog evolved to one where everyday life was documented - the ups, the downs, the tears, the prayers, the various journey's and seasons, victories and even struggles. It gave voice to a Momma who was new to staying at home with her kiddos and navigating through lots of "new-to-me" experiences - sometimes more than I ever would have wished for.

The Campbell Corner is treasured by me.  It's a window into part of my heart and holds lots of memories. 

So...why start Campbell Crew?  Simply put - my boys are not babies anymore and a corner is a bit too small for them.  Life has become way more bold and boisterous.  I could just do a complete overhaul of this corner - update the look and feel of the blog so that it is more fitting to our current life.  But I don't want to.  I love this little blog and all that it represents.  It's still a part of my life and I desire to preserve it for what it is.    

Campbell Crew will still have the same real-down -to-earth tone.  That is just who I am and no matter what season of life I'm in...that will never change.

Many of you have joined me on my journey over the last five years.  Know that you are invited to continue to join me and my crew as we continue to learn how to live intentionally and balance life.  If you view me in a reader, then you will want to update your reader.  

Life's Essentials

es·sen·tial [ i sénshəl ] necessary: of the highest importance for achieving something basic: being the most basic element or feature of something or somebody defining: constituting the property or characteristic of something that makes it what it is.

Previously I wrote about living intentionally and being an active participant in this thing called life. One step I've taken in this is determining what is important to me and then attempting to work those things into my schedule.

This may sound silly, but when my day is so busy that it is blurred, my favorite thing to do is to take a moment and just breathe. I'm not talking about doing some major deep breathing exercises - although that is also good - but merely taking a moment to be mentally aware of taking a breath into my lungs and then releasing it out. It's like giving myself a time-out but in a good way.

Something else that I've incorporated into my life is PAUSE. For me, it is like hitting the pause button on whatever is on my agenda that day. I get myself a cup of coffee and sit on my glider in the family room (looking forward to moving outside to the patio when the weather warms up) and I read my new book. I'm not reading anything I haven't read before, but the Bible is organized in a different way in this book and I'm loving it. I don't get to do this everyday but I've been able to continue to chew and ponder what I've read and how it applies to my life until I'm able to pause again and read some more.

These are definitely some of my life's essentials.

Living Intentionally

This has been something that I have been thinking about and in many ways applying to my everyday life.

As most families, we've experienced our share of ups and downs and have learned how to navigate our way through it, attempting to find balance. One way that I've accomplished this is by living intentionally - not just letting life happen but making and participating in the choices that I have the ability to make.

I know that I cannot control everything that happens to me or my family. I can't control the cancer in my Dad's body. I can't fix the residual ailments that still plague my Mom as a result of the sepsis. This is what we are living through now and it is not easy.

So what do I do with that? I can choose to become paralyzed and walk aimlessly through each day or I can be an active participant and maybe have a positive impact. I choose the latter. This does not mean every day goes as planned. Nor is my schedule always filled with things that I would choose to be doing. There are many nights I am just worn out and exhausted and sometimes I've awakened in that same state. But 'living intentionally' is what allows me to roll with the punches. This is why, no matter what happens, I can get up again.

Today I enjoyed watching Jeter and his team start the spring season of soccer. It was cold and Barber was getting a little antsy but I relished the fact that we were able to be there as a family.

Do you live intentionally? What does that look like in your everyday?

Raindrops on Roses

Today was one of those days where we all slept in just a little bit longer. Maybe it was because of the grey rainy morning we were to awake to or maybe we weren't quite finished with our dreams yet. Whatever the delay, it was long enough (but not too long) that our day started out at a relaxed and peaceful pace. Kind of like 'raindrops on roses'...

Simms was bringing the boys to the bus stop so I was able to stay in my comfy cozy pj's just a little bit longer. The boys got ready for school, ate breakfast and were ready to get their jackets on right on time. Simms was ready to go with time to spare to crush up some boxes for garbage day. I was able to get to the dishes in the dishwasher, start the coffee and make the lunches. I kissed the boys good-bye as they hurried to Daddy's car with Barber calling "don't forget 'I love yous!'". He's referring to me signing 'I love you' when they leave each morning. When I bring them to the bus, I sign 'I love you' as the bus rides away with them looking out their window. When Simms brings them in the morning, I sign 'I love you' out the family room window or the front door.

This morning was no exception.

I stepped away from the window with a smile on my face...and then I saw it. On the family room table, Jeter's open-ended Q&A from his homework. I've been talking to him of the importance of including a summarizing sentence at the end of his paragraph. He balked at me initially 'because it isn't required at school right now' but he came around and proudly read his well written paragraph last night. The night when he had a tight schedule of get home, complete his homework, practice trumpet, run on the treadmill (soccer conditioning), eat dinner and then we all went to Barber's community night for baseball. By the time we got home it was time for bed.

In seconds I had my crocs on and jacket zipped, hat on and homework inside my jacket - to keep it from getting wet. What a sight I must have been running down the sidwalk in my pink, white and grey striped pj's (you could see the bottoms), orange crocs and dark brown winter jacket. This wasn't a vogue moment for me - no this was a mom moment. I was definitely a mom-in-action and I really didn't care what my neighbors thought.

I ran toward the bus stop - the bus was already there - hoping I'd make it. I was two house lengths away when she started to drive around the corner (we live on a circle of sorts). I turned and sprinted down the way I came...I needed to cut her off! There was about nine house lengths between me and that bus. Thankfully, I made it and with a smile I completed my mission. I then heard the voice of one of my neighbors behind me (he lives on the other side of the circle) asking if I needed a ride home. I said 'sure that would be great' and got into the passenger seat in my crazy mis-matched, definitely not-ready-for-the-day, no make-up on look.

Wonderful. Definitely not auditioning for a real housewives show here.

The best part is, it really doesn't matter to me. The setting of my day hasn't changed. I am still in a place of rest and peace and now I even have something to giggle about.

Lessons in a Snow Tube

Have you ever learned something about yourself at a time when you least expected it?

That's what happened to me last Friday. We went snow tubing as a family. Simms and Jeter have gone in the past but this was going to be a new experience for Barber and me.

I went sledding when I was younger...and loved it. But let's face it, I was a teenager without a care in the world and a Long Island attitude that took on just about anything and everything. We'd go sledding at the local golf courses and I'd look for the iciest hill and even aim for the built jumps. And this was using the old fashioned wooden sleds when you were flat out on your stomach and came at everything head first and steering the sled as you went along. One time I flew so high when I came down my chin hit my sled. It hurt but I still came up with a huge smile on my face.

That's part of my past and I'm not a teenager anymore. Not only that...I'm a mom. I still love roller coasters and the thrill that they bring but those are a bit more predictable than sitting in a tube and going down a hill.

So what does a Momma like me do? I pray. Yup. I prayed for safety and protection and that we would have a lot of fun as a family and make some great memories.

We first went down as a family - all four of us. That was fast and fun and the smiles were bursting from our faces and giggles overflowing.

Then we went down in pairs. Simms took Barber and I went with Jeter. The smiles, giggles and squeals of joy continued until Jeter and I went in lane #5. I'm going to guess we were about half way down when his tube started to go up the bank of the lane. And there I am, his Mom, holding onto a handle of his tube, sliding down a hill of ice and there is nothing physical (that I know of anyway) that I can do. I know it all happened in a matter of seconds but in my mind, it plays in slow motion...his tube kept going up the bank and when it was about halfway I hear myself cry out "Jesus!" and just like that, his tube righted itself and we continued spinning down to the bottom.

Jeter thought that was the best run ever! Seriously?!? I'm thinking 'you almost flipped over crazy boy'! And then I remember that he is my son - a nine year old who is simply enjoying the ride of his life.

I also realized something about myself. In those crazy seconds, I definitely felt concerned and realized my limitations but dread did not come over me. I was not paralyzed by fear but rather cried out - almost instinctively - to the One who is capable of altering my circumstances in mere seconds.

I've learned a lot on this journey...some of which has yet to be realized...but one thing is certain, I'm enjoying the glimpses into what the Father is doing.

Love, love, L-O-V-E

Valentines Day...a day to let the ones you love know how very special they are. Granted I agree that this shouldn't be saved for just one day each year but I don't mind taking extra time on this day for the loves in my life.

This is something that my Dad has done for YEARS. My sister and I always knew that Mom was his #1 Valentine and love of his life, but Dad always made sure to let us know that there was plenty of room in his heart for each of us too. He always had a box of chocolates for us and plenty of hugs and kisses. It didn't matter what happened at school that day - who got flowers or special notes, who didn't - I always knew I was loved and valued.

And this love continues to the next generation. Who knew this would be part of Dad's legacy. Jeter wished each of us a Happy Valentines Day this morning and had a candy for each of us too. Simms told me last night that Barber asked his Daddy if they could go to the store and buy me a ring. Too cute - what a precious heart. Obviously they didn't. But, I don't need a ring...just their hugs and kisses and love is more than enough for me. My two little guys found a love note from me today at their seats with a heart-shaped box of chocolates - reminding them that they are special, a treasured blessing from God, and that they are loved.

One thing is different about this Valentine's Day. Dad goes for his first chemotherapy treatment. Promises is bringing him today...I'm bringing him next time. I talked to him this morning and wished him a Happy Valentine's Day. I also prayed with my Dad and told him how much I loved him. I wanted to talk to Mom next but I knew Dad was filling out a card for her and I didn't want to interrupt their time together...the two cutest sweethearts I know.

Next step...get to work on my to-do lists...except the song(s) that 88.1 Word FM has been playing throughout this morning caused a change in plans. Talk about getting wrecked and encouraged all at the same time. It's all good though...He's just reminding me that He loves me a whole bunch too.

Daddy...my 1st Valentine.




Rescue by Desperation Band

You are the source of the life
I can’t be left behind
No one else will do
I will take hold of You

I need You Jesus
To come to my rescue
Where else can I go
There’s no other name by
Which I am saved
Capture me with grace
I will follow You

This world has nothing for me
I will follow You
This world has nothing for me
I will follow You

I Still Love You...I Still Need You...

This is where my heart is right now. Valentines Day is Monday. This is the same day as my Dad's first chemo treatment. Lots of emotions yet, amidst it all, my spirit declares the verse of this song

No matter what, I’m gonna love You
No matter what I’m gonna need You
I know that You can find a way to keep me from the pain
But if not, if not, I’ll trust You no matter what, no matter what

I especially love this video because of the Bible verses that are included. Huge encouragement.

Healing is in His Hands

Winter blues. They say that some people are affected by the weather and lack of sun. I don't doubt that. That being said, this winter, even if I wanted to, I haven't had time to sit around and feel all 'bluey'.

Completely random thought here (and nothing to do with this post) - who first came up with 'blue' as synonymous for sad? I personally like the color blue - it's refreshing and calming to me. And if you noticed, when there is a lack of sunlight in the sky it's usually because of the clouds that keep the sunlight out - which to me are white or a stormy-looking grey.

So...why has my winter been so busy? Well, I don't really have time to go into all the details but long story short, my Mom was hit hard with pneumonia and a staph infection in her blood - originally diagnosed as influenza. She was admitted to the hospital (SICU) December 30th and was then transferred to a Rehabilitation Hospital January 11th. She continues to progress and is scheduled to be discharged home next week where she will continue to receive therapy as an outpatient. Needless to say, our family (includes my family and my sister's family) have been busy caring for both Mom and Dad. No time for the 'blues'. No need for it either. We've had so many people - family, friends, and prayer warriors at churches of family and friends and our own - covering us daily in prayer.

We've stated that we are living a testimony right now...and everyone that is linked to us through this is living it too.

If you know me or have even been reading this blog for any length of time, then you know that I just absolutely love music and that what draws me in more than anything else is the lyrics. This song has definitely ministered to me quite a bit - especially over the past 3 weeks.

Hope Anthem

HOPE ANTHEM - Will Matthews & Christa Black

He's awakening the hope in me
By calling forth my destiny
He's breathing life into my soul
I thirst for Him and Him alone

He has come like the rain
That showers on a barren land
So my heart and tongue confess
Jesus Christ hope of man

MY HOPE IS IN YOU GOD
I AM STEADFAST I WILL NOT BE MOVED
I'M ANCHORED NEVER SHAKEN
ALL MY HOPE IS IN YOU
ALL MY HOPE IS IN YOU

He's bringing hope to the hopeless
Giving His heart to the broken
Sharing His home with the orphan
He is the joy, He is my joy!

He is the hope of the nations
The father's heart we're embracing
He is the song we're declaring
He is the joy, He is my joy!

Those who wait on the Lord
Will not be put to shame
Those who sow in tears
We will reap in joy

Joy comes in the morning light
Joy comes in the morning light

There's joy in the waiting
There's hope in the waiting
Do you believe it?
Do you believe it?

He's awakening the hope in me
By calling forth my destiny

Teeter-Totter

Balance.

Did you ever try to balance a book on your head? I did that when I was little...then I tried to walk. It quickly slid off. That settled it...no modeling career for me in the future. Joking aside, it seems that the ability to stay balanced becomes increasingly difficult as the number of things you are focused on increases.

My house lacks balance at the moment. Could be that I've added baking and candy-making, wrapping the presents, crafting with the boys, preparing special things for the teachers at school and I still have two presents to find (!!!) to my daily focus of tasks. Laundry, dishes, preparing meals - even if it's eggs for dinner, and just cleaning in general. Oh - getting back to regular exercise would be good too. Looks like I'll be starting week 1 day 1 again.

And then you have my family. Specifically my Dad.

My heart wants to spend every single second of every single day with him. What would I do? Hold his hand. Watch some old western on TV that I have absolutely no interest in but I would be with him. Talk. Maybe play Yahtzee. Refill his glass of water. Listen to his life stories again, again and again. Just love him.

And then there's Mom. This precious woman who will sacrifice everything in her life for those she loves. I want to be there for her every second of every day. To help ease her responsibilities and decrease the stress that she feels. To remind her that this isn't all on her shoulders. To give her the freedom to go get some shopping done or just sit and chat - sharing both smiles and tears.

I haven't even mentioned my sister. We grew up spending almost every second of every day together! No wonder she's my bestest friend. I want to sit and talk and share a cup of coffee - de-stress together. To giggle over the stages of our boys and encourage each other as moms and wives. And then, to take a moment and forget all of our responsibilities and have some 'girl' time would be absolutely lovely.

That's the nuclear family I started with. Now I have my own nuclear family.

I'm a wife to Simms - a most amazing and understanding man - he is seriously my best friend. I can't believe we will celebrate 17 years in less than a month. Seriously seems like just yesterday I walked into Zoology Lab and spent the evening using dichotomous keys and laughing at his jokes. Fast forward to current life - I'm also a mom of two sweet boys. And they need their Mommy. They need me to pack their lunches, help them get their coats on, give them kisses and hugs before they leave for school. To pray for them while they are at school. I'm also there to check their homework, help fix their Lego's that fell apart and now there's a piece missing that needs to be found. We read together. I tickle them - trust me, they need that too.

I haven't even mentioned the network of aunts, uncles, cousins, nephews, nieces, Rayda, Papa or Mima.

Now, on top of all of this, enter emotions. As if it was even possible to find balance to all of the above, this is a certain factor to throw things way of of whack.

Needless to say, the book is constantly falling off my head lately. And I keep picking it back up. I'm a fighter like my Dad. I see the challenge in front of me and I know that I cannot take care of it all by myself. BUT, this is the secret that keeps me going - I guess since, I'm going to share it with you it isn't a secret anymore.

Ready...wait for it...I'm not alone.

That's it. No one that loves me expects me to get it all done by myself. We're a team and thankfully, the huddle has grown. An added bonus to all of this is that I trust the play-caller. Don't always understand the play and I sometimes don't agree with it...but I still trust Him.

The Core of our Huddle

Do You See What I See?

When you look at this picture what do you see?

Winter. Death. Cold. Those are some words that could come to mind and they would be valid.

I see life - and the potential of it. There is a protective covering - that isn't necessarily pretty - that keeps this bud safe throughout the severe temperatures and storms of winter. The result is that when spring comes it bursts forth with a beautiful bloom.

There are a lot of parallels to my life and the lives of my loved ones. Circumstances don't particularly look great - there are signs of debilitation and increased weakness. And yet, there has been an increase in a sense of being surrounded and protected which has provided what I've referenced as an irrational peace.

I believe that there is going to be a new season - a spring. And when it is time, the old will pass away and the new bloom is going to burst forth. The difficulty is timing...I don't know when winter will pass. What I do know is that while in this season, I am choosing to focus on the potential of new life that exists and is being protected. I know that the protection is present and we will withstand the storms and/or severe conditions. That 'knowing' is my faith and it is continually strengthened as I spend time in His Presence.

Homemade Applesauce

Do you ever have a surplus of apples? I often do because I love buying apples in the fall from local farms / orchards. It is rare that a day passes when someone in my family has not eaten an apple. My absolute favorite apple to eat is Fuji - it's crispy and sweet. That reminds me...I need to get more of those!

This year I purchased Soncrisp apples and Cortland - these were split with my mom and sis. Seriously LOVE living so close to them! Anyway, the Soncrisp were great the first day but then they fell into the same category for me as the Cortland - the I don't really care to cut up and munch on this apple category. They are what I would call soft and mushy which means they are excellent for apple pies or crisps. They are even great to cut up and freeze for use in making your own fruit smoothies.

That's what I usually do with them but this year I decided to try my hand at making homemade apple sauce.

Never did that before. My sister made some and Jeter absolutely loved it. I told her I needed the recipe. She smiled and even giggled a bit but was nice and posted it on her blog. After making my own apple sauce, I understand why she kind of rolled her eyes at me. It really isn't that difficult to make but I needed the recipe in hand to give me the confidence to try it by myself in my own kitchen.

Good news is, it turned out great! I even thought to take before and after photos.



Before:






After:

You may have noticed that the pot has changed. I learned (in process) that a wider / smaller pot is more beneficial than the taller stock pot. I also felt more comfortable mashing it in the shorter pot...my arms didn't have to go down as far to the bottom!

Living in the Now

This has become a theme for me. Taking time to enjoy what's happening right now in my life and in the lives of those I love. It's definitely a theme that I've touched on before...once or twice anyway.

What does that mean for today? It means that I am at my parents house, enjoying time with my family. Jeter is sitting with his Poppy, watching the Steelers game. Simms was using his laptop to do some research on TV's for my Dad - he's checking out the cable hookup now - we're looking to get a TV upstairs for him. Thankfully they already have a table for the new TV or we'd also be completing some research about TV stands for flat screens. If you are in the market check out the CSN stores - one click allows you to access a great variety for a great variety.

Grammie is mixing the icing so that her grandson's can join in with cookie decorating this afternoon. Brady and Barber are currently playing with their animals which talk in a very squeaky voice. Promises is upstairs chatting with my mom...now she's downstairs with me and my Dad. Me...I'm taking a moment to document the "now" I'm living in today. Dawson will join us later. He's home because Smiles is still sleeping. I just really love my family and need to get back to living life with them. We got some fun cookies to make. I'll post pictures at a later date.

Healing and Revelation

December 1st is right around the corner. Trust me I'm not rushing past Thanksgiving or November but I'm a planner - or at the very least I don't want to procrastinate to the point of no return - and December 1st is an important day in our home.

This is when we start our special countdown to Christmas. We started this tradition in 2006 and each year we've had a different theme. We've discussed 24 things God created, 24 men in the Bible who followed God, 24 people that heard from God, etc. This year we are going to explore and discuss 24 healings / miracles.

I think somehow I'll incorporate this song...we'll see.

Take a moment and listen...just remember to pause the player.

Healing is in Your Hand by Christy Nockels

On another note - have you ever heard of Manga Bible by Rogers? It's a graphic novel that summarizes the Bible. Some people like it. Some don't. Jeter really like the series. He's read through it at least two times and is on his third time through. Barber began to ask about it today. I took time to explain that this is a summary and the author uses some liberties - such as the conversations that Cain and Abel are having with one another. I also reminded him that I would love to talk to him about anything he reads.

Barber sat and read for almost an hour. He first asked me why they had to sacrifice sheep. We talked about that and the importance of the sacrifice that Jesus made - tied in why He is referred to as the Lamb of God. I saw the "aha" look on his face and then he smiled saying "now that's another thing I'm thankful to Jesus for because I was feeling bad for the lambs and I am really glad that we don't have to do that anymore." He also told me that although he knew that Cain did something really wrong, he still feels bad for him because he had to go away from everyone and be all by himself in Nod. I absolutely love the sensitivity and compassion that our Creator has woven into this precious son of mine!

Happy Birthday Daddy

Today my Dad is officially 71 years old! He has outlived the longest living male in his family line by 2-1/2 years now. Go Daddy go!

If you are a regular reader here at my corner then you know how special my Daddy is to me. I've written about some of Dad's Rules around Christmas and the various Traditions he has instilled, His favorite cake and how we watched my first Superbowl together. He has always been my valentine - shared with my sister of course. And we are both still Daddy's Little Girl. To top off these memories, the one that seems to resonate with me today is the fact that no one prayed like my Dad and the security that gave me when I was scared or needed some comfort.

When my Dad prays he doesn't use super big words but there is a passion and strength that is there.

That passion and strength has always been part of him...it's just evolved over time. He was born in 1939 and grew up on the streets of New York City. His family lived on a German block in Queens - that wasn't the name of the street but the families on that block came over from Germany. He has told me how it wasn't easy being ridiculed, being called 'Nazi' and targeted by bullies. He never joined a gang. His Dad (my Poppy) taught him how to fight and I still recall a story where he cheered my Dad on as he defended himself against another boy. They moved out of the city when he was sixteen. He told me that he and his dad witnessed a fight where switchblades were pulled and used. Apparently my Poppy defined that type of fight as 'unfair' and determined it was time to move the family.

I can't imagine growing up like that. Always on the defense. It's taught in psychology classes that the typical response to threatening situations are fight or flight. I don't know if my Dad comprehends 'flight'. I'm not sure it is part of his vocabulary. I'm just kidding about the latter...well sort of.

My Dad invited God to be a part of his life when he was thirty-three years old. I was a toddler. As a little girl, the fighter part of my Dad became my defender. I knew that no one would hurt me or my family because my Daddy took care of us. I'm sure every little girl sees her Daddy as her hero but I remember times when I felt threatened by someone and my Dad had words with that individual and then everything was a-ok. Sometimes I wish I knew what he had said and then I think that I'm better off not knowing.

As an adolescent, the fighter part of my Dad was truly annoying. I felt like he always had to be right and we battled verbally - especially when I knew he was definitely wrong and I was right. LOL.

As an adult I understand where the fighter in my Dad came from. It is still sometimes annoying - just being honest - but I've also seen it change. The real strength of this trait is when he prays. He never gives up. He never gives in. He fights and fights and fights because He knows that his Daddy- Abba - is in his corner, cheering him on.

As Chris Tomlin sings in Our God is Greater...

And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?

Happy Veterans Day!

Thank you to all the men and women who have chosen to serve and protect our country. We honor you.



This film is by Brandon Hess. It is simply titled Honor: Pass It On.

My Church is...

What are you reading today?

Fiction? Non-fiction? Blogs - about food, decorating, mommyhood, real life, bargains?

I'm a bit eclectic with my reading and sometimes I go through phases or seasons.

Every now and then I come across something really good and I earmark it - literally or figuratively - planning to share it with so-and-so. Sometimes it's a really good recipe. Other times it's because it made me laugh or touched my heart.

Today it was because what I read felt like a reflection of some of my thoughts.

I don't totally remember how or when I first came across Trey Morgan's Blog. He is a pastor of a church down in Texas. I think I appreciate his honest approach to life - just telling it like it is and not doing a song and dance in the process. Anyway, today's post titled So, Where is Your Church? was definitely worth sharing.

Based on his post, I'd add that my church is

...helping children with their writing.

...at the elementary school that I volunteer at.

...conversing with other mom's and dad's at the soccer field.

...taking care of my kiddos and family.

...bringing a meal to a new mom or a family in need.

Yes, there is a building that our family goes to on a regular basis where we are able to meet with others - to encourage and be encouraged. But that isn't really what it is all about. That doesn't mean that those few hours aren't important...they just aren't necessarily more important then what happens all of the other hours in that week/month/year.

I remember when another pastor, who is still quite dear to me, challenged us to be climate / atmosphere changers. To recognize that due to the fact that He is with us, where we go, He is present. That is 24/7. Even though He spoke those words over 10 years ago - it is still relevant today and I have heard myself giving that same challenge to my boys. I don't ever want them to be limited by the walls of a building.

Having read all of this...I'd love to hear where your church is - and I'm not talking about the building.

The Tone. The Glare. The Attitude.

Do you read a lot of parenting books? I don't. That doesn't mean I've never read any books about parenting. I definitely did my share of reading during my first pregnancy and then some more during the first year of motherhood. But for me - how do I say this nicely - no one author deserves the honor of know-it-all on the topic of parenting.

By the same token, there are some general principals and applications that are true. For example, typically at the age of two, children are learning boundaries and at the age of three they attempt to see how far they can push those boundaries. Those statements are generally true for all children. Where the variation lies is the specifics of how to get through those phases.

So...how do I get through it? I ask God for help. That may sound like a cop-out but hear me out first. He's the One that created these kiddos and He knows them best. I know them pretty well - probably better than most. Simms could say the same. This is definitely due to the fact that we both see a bit of each of us in each of them. The good, the not-so-good if we don't get a handle on it, and what I like to call we are going to handle and get through this - like it or not. Yet, even with all of that knowledge, He still knows them better.

How does this stuff break-down practically speaking? This is my take on it - my job is to ask and listen. He is the One that has to provide the solutions and I need to employ those solutions.

So how does that work? I have a great and current example to give you.

Have you heard of the pre-teen years. I don't know exactly when they are supposed to officially start. What I do know is that we have at least entered a phase of them. My choices, as I see them, are the following - #1 run and hide and hope for the best, #2 yell and scream and hope my neighbors have a good set of earplugs and #3 apply the above (ask for, listen to, and execute the given solution) trusting that we will get through this phase just like we have in the past.

You do realize that options #1 and #2 are not real options, right? Not for this momma anyway.

Please know that selecting option #3 does not necessarily equate to smooth sailing. No way. It does mean that I am fully prepared to roll up my sleeves and get into the muck of life with them. I am ready for the long haul if needed and I will not quit.

I love these boys and my hearts desire is for them to fulfill every plan and purpose that God has for their lives.

Okay...back to pre-teen angst. I know it is another phase that leads to Jeter becoming more independent and defining who he is. I get that and actually this is a really good thing. I want him to continue to mature into the young man that he was called and created to be. I just don't like the tone that seems to be accompanying the process. This tone isn't always directed at me. No - it doesn't seem to be a respecter of persons. All you have to do is cross the path of the tone and it's there. The tone also seems to have a buddy - I'll refer to it as the glare. Not really a fan of the glare either. Both of these things seem to precipitate from the attitude that finds it necessary to be right and prove that rightness at the expense of everything and anything. Please note, none of this is "official" - meaning I don't have an citations to make. It's merely from observations that I've made due to life experience...meaning I'm living this right now with my 9 year old.

My goal? To deal with the tone, glare and attitude without having too many casualties in the process. You may think I am joking. I'm not. I want the yucky stuff out and the good stuff - which ultimately is a positive growth in Jeter's independence and identity - to thrive.

That is the general goal. I think everyone could agree to this.

How am I doing that? You're curious about the specifics? Here is the latest tactic. In the midst of the chaos that ensues when the tone, the glare and the attitude show up, I ask this question - Are you glorifying God right now?

Granted, for you to employ this tactic, that means that your child / pre-teen has to have a foundational understanding of what this means. Mine does. Did it work? Yes!

This is what it looked like the first time in our home...

Me: Jeter, you need to get ready for soccer practice.

Jeter: Okay.

So far no problem. He then comes down in a t-shirt and shorts...mind you it is below 50 degrees outside.

Me: Jeter, that is not enough. You need to wear your underarmour.

Jeter: I don't know where it is.

Me: Okay. If you can't find it then you will need to wear a long sleeve shirt under the t-shirt and a sweatshirt.

Jeter: A sweatshirt? Why?!? (picture instant presence of tone, glare and attitude).

Me: Because it is cold outside.

Jeter: Mom. No. It's not that cold. And I'll be running around. Why don't you find my stuff for me.

Me: Jeter, that is your responsibility and you are running out of time. Get upstairs and finish getting ready now. (there was definitely a bit of emphasis placed on the 'now' in that last statement)

Jeter goes upstairs. Did I mention that his cousins were over? Oh and that I spent the day teaching Promises how to make homemade icing and decorate a soccer cake for Brady as well as taking care of the cake that I was decorating for Jeter's team party?

Meanwhile, upstairs I find Jeter sitting on his bed.

Me: Jeter, pick out a sweatshirt now.

Jeter: No! You don't understand! I'll be running around and I get hot and sweaty so much that I'm going to die if you make me put on the sweatshirt!!!

Me: You have a choice - sweatshirt or underarmour.

Jeter: I don't have a choice because you are going to make me wear a sweatshirt and I can't find the underarmour which is probably in the laundry that you haven't done yet...

Me: (yes, I interrupted him) Jeter, stop there. You're right. Mommy is behind on the laundry but what have I been doing today for you?

Jeter: The cake. But you didn't have to make it. You could have done something else. You chose to do it.

He is correct, I chose to make the cake but the design became more complex because my sweet boys began to "dream" about what the cake could look like and I started to dream with them. I have to admit, right now option #2 was looking really really good and our volume had definitely raised over the course of the above conversation. Thankfully, I took a breathe, walked to another room with Jeter, and silently prayed. When I say 'prayed' insert 'desperately pleaded with the Father'. That is when He told me to ask Jeter the above question and I did.

Me: Jeter, all of this - your actions and words, is it glorifying God?

He stopped. His eyes seemed to soften and as he looked away from me I heard him say 'no'.

Me: Okay then. Please go to your room and talk to God - get your heart right. Then you will need to apologize to me and to your cousins before I bring you to soccer practice.

He did it! He didn't like it but he did it. I heard him in his room having it out with God. That's okay with me. I think that's how I sound sometimes when I'm talking to God, getting through a tough time. He exited his room tone-free, glare-free and attitude-free!!! With a changed heart, he apologized to me and his cousins then he quickly finished getting ready and we got to practice about 5 minutes late.

As he jogged to his team for practice, I looked on with eyes of admiration. I believe that Jeter grew today, right before my eyes.

How Deep is that Well?

This afternoon, after I was surrounded by 18 first graders for over an hour, I stopped by my parents and just spent time with them until I had to pick up the boys from the bus stop. I could have just gone straight home, gotten another load of laundry done and finish up the dishes that got dirty from my meal prep earlier today. I also have carpets and floors that need attention, surfaces that need to be wiped down and more laundry. There is always laundry. But I just wanted to hang out with two of my best friends...my mom and dad.

There wasn't anything super special...Dad had an old t-shirt on and a baseball cap. He still has that sparkle in his eye. It's just difficult to ignore the fact that those same sparkly blue eyes look tired and because I love and know him, I notice how uncomfortable he really is even though he's trying not to show it.

This afternoon, I'm allowing my Father to comfort me and give me peace.

This is one of my favorite songs / hymns. I have two versions below. If you are super conservative, you will enjoy the instrumental of the first one. If you like when a new edge/flair is added, then you will definitely like the second.

Me? I dabble in both - I have a love and taste for the original and I enjoy when the feeling of the song is still there even when the artist has tinkered with the arrangement. I cannot even tell you how many times I've listened to both of these. So if you're like me, live dangerously and listen to both of them. Just not at the same time. Now that would be silly.

NOTE: hit the pause button on the player in the right margin.

Life is like...

How would you complete that sentence?

You might say "a box of chocolates" quoting Forrest Gump. He follows that up with the statement "you never know what you are going to get". I don't know about you but my favorite box of chocolates comes with a diagram that tells me exactly what is in that box. I personally favor the truffles and avoid the coconut.

For me, the best analogy right now is that it is like a football game and I am on the team of the underdogs. I'm sure this has everything to do with the fact that I watched Facing the Giants with my boys last night. If you have never seen this movie, I highly recommend it. There are just a lot of great nuggets that can apply to life...no matter what you are walking through.

Here are some of the most meaningful applications for me:

* There is a scene where the coach asks his player to do the 'death walk/crawl' (the player carries someone on their back and walks on all fours - only feet and hands touching the ground). He blindfolds the player and asks him to give him his best. The following isn't verbatim (I don't write that fast) so just know it's paraphrased...

Coach: Give me your best

Player: It hurts

Coach: Keep going. Don't quit.

Player: It burns. Am I there yet? It burns.

Coach: Give me your best. It's all heart from here.

Note...the player ends up going all the way to the end zone of the field!

*Miscellaneous Quotes that mean so much to me right now...

Your effort was real good tonight. You have nothing to be ashamed of...praise God when you win and praise Him when you lose.

Sounds like your fear is about to collide with your faith.

I will still love you.

Whatever happens You get the glory.

I believe as long as we honor God, nothing is impossible...now, who will go fight the Giants with me?

Remember today...you held nothing back, you did not stop fighting, you did not quit.

* At the end of the movie, the teams leader on the defense (he plays on the line) is exhausted. This is the State Championship game and they are in the final moments of the fourth quarter. The opposition has possession. The player tells his coach I'm done. Someone else has to lead. His coach counters I need you. Can you give me four more downs? The players response? He agrees to four more and calls to his line Stonewall. Exhausted, they rally together and prevent the opposition from crossing into the end zone. Frustrated, the opposing team chooses to go for it on fourth down rather than taking the field goal. The defense holds the line and they regain control of the ball.

Sometimes I feel like it's the fourth quarter and I'm done. I'm exhausted and feel like I've done everything I can. It hurts. It burns. Physically...spiritually...emotionally. And then somehow I'm stirred to keep going...as if I'm being asked if I can give four more downs. Just four more. Thankfully, I know I'm not really in the thick of things alone. My family is here and we're all walking through this together. There are also many friends and loved ones and many others who are praying - with us and for us. Essentially WE are all linking arms together and standing to form the Stone Wall.

Thank you.

Now we need to prepare for rain.

If you don't know what that last statement means, you just really got to watch this movie. It is that good.