It doesn't really matter what you're going through or what loved ones are facing, the second hand keeps ticking and time continues. What's a girl to do? This one keeps on moving - even if it feels like quicksand - attempting to live in the now and handle stuff as it comes.
How does that look right now?
It means that I smile at Barber as he learns to swim the breaststroke - even though I know my Dad was planning to be there but couldn't because of the pain he was experiencing that morning. Yes, even as I type that, it brings tears to my eyes but I cannot allow that sadness to steal my joy. My joy as a mom witnessing her son experiencing some success. Yes, he still has the safety of his instructor's hand under his stomach and his head barely goes below the surface of the water, BUT his arms and legs are following the pattern that his instructor exemplified and that puts a smile on my face no matter what is going on.
It means that I take joy in having my parents and sister's family over for an impromptu dinner. Nothing fancy (Salsa Stoup and Double Decker Quesadillas - thank you Rachel Ray) but the time to sit and talk with one another around the dinner table is priceless.
It means that I attempt to give 100%...whether it is watching the boys play/practice soccer, reading a book together, snuggling with Barber while he shows me all the cool things in a science / toy magazine, making lunches for the boys, tying laces to soccer cleats or sneakers, listening to Jeter practice the trumpet, etc.
It means that I'm still working on my menu planning (I do two weeks at a time), laundry, try to keep milk in the refrigerator, etc.
It also means that when I hear a song on the radio and/or am thinking/praying for my Dad that I let the tears come to my eyes and even slide down my cheeks.
Truth is, I'm pretty good at most of this stuff most of the time. Some days are a little more difficult than others. Periodically there is a day when I feel like I didn't do anything. But I can't afford to get stuck there...I have to pick myself up again because if I don't then I'm going to miss out on parts of life - and in real life there is no pause or rewind button. Although that would be a nice feature to have regarding laundry because I have definitely fallen behind again. Actually a fast forward button would be great to have when it comes to laundry. hahaha.
Meanwhile, here's a song that got to me today...
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