Real Life Daddy

A few months ago, Simms was asked to write down some thoughts to welcome a friend to fatherhood. I thought what he expressed was so powerful that I asked if he would please let me post it. Thankfully he agreed. The timing of celebrating Dad's this Sunday seemed to be the perfect opportunity to share. (please note that names have been changed)

Wow what a journey you are about to embark on! When I was asked to provide you with some fatherly information, I wasn’t sure what I was going to write about. No one has ever asked me to expound on what it means to be a father. There are so many topics that one could discuss. When or if you ever want to grab some coffee to open the can of worms just let me know where and when. However, for this journal I guess I will provide you with the one thing that has become most apparent to me recently. Ready? Here it is…

Part I - Take time to laugh and enjoy every minute you have with your son.

I know, I know…You are thinking that is the most profound thing you have ever heard, right? Yeah, you’re actually probably thinking (although you would never actually say it)…“Duh that is basic parenting 101” or “Yeah, I have heard that one before. Thanks Simms!” I understand. I had the same thoughts. I mean I always assumed I would be a great Dad. I love kids. I love playing with kids. Kids typically love me. I can actually remember someone giving me similar advice. I also remember reading similar words in parenting books as I prepared for Jeter to be born. I knew that I would be involved in my child’s world and that I would help coach him, direct him and guide him through life’s many lessons. The one thing that nobody ever told me was that this “simple” step of parenting is not very simple at all but rather one of the most difficult things to do.

What? How can laughing and enjoying time with your son be difficult? Isn’t it the most natural thing in the world to do? Spence, I love you too much to not be real with you. Let’s take a look at the first two words in my profound statement, “Take time”. Taking the time to spend with your child is not easy. Oh sure, it is easy to want to take time (although some days are easier than others) but not so easy to actually take the time. When you figure that the majority of your day is consumed with your occupation and the fact that your child will more than likely go to bed sometime in the early evening, only leaves a precious couple of hours during the day to spend with your son. Also, just when you think that you have a few hours to laugh and play with your son you realize that the rest of the world refuses to stop spinning just because you have a child.

The lawn still needs to be cut, the dishes still need to be done, errands still need to be run, etc. etc. etc. You might be thinking that these are activities that can be done with a child. You are correct. Just keep in mind that every project, chore or errand you do with your child will typically take twice as long as before. Be prepared to get half as much completed as you used to while teaching your son how to cut the lawn, wash the dishes, etc.

By the way, do you know why it takes twice as long to complete something? One very simple reason…questions? Daddy, can I jump on your back? Daddy, can you be my horsey? Daddy, can I drink water from that puddle? Daddy, where do boogers come from? Daddy why do boogers taste salty? Daddy, why are you doing that? Daddy, what does this tool do? Daddy, can I help you?... And there it is.

That is the bottom line. Your son will think that you know everything and will want to spend as much time with you as possible. You are his hero! So, as hard as it may be to spend time with your son on certain days, sacrifice how you are feeling at that moment and do whatever you can in the early years to let him jump on your back and ride you around the yard. Take the extra time to teach your son all that you know. No topic is too simple or too complex. Every thing you do in life is a lesson to be learned and observed by your son. However, while you are doing this keep the following Part II in the forefront of your mind.

Stay tuned for Part II...