I hesitate to write because I know I'm hurting right now. At the same time, writing helps me process and heal and stay emotionally stable amidst the stuff that life brings.
My Dad has cancer. Many of you know that...but you wouldn't necessarily know it to see him.
He's been battling it since 1998. It's prostate cancer and although it seemed like it was taken care of back then and was ruled "cancer free" it reared it's ugly head again and again. Without all the wretched details, his battle changed in 2006 when tests revealed that the cancer was impacting his bone (not in it but on it). He's experienced great success with hormone therapy but that isn't working anymore.
So...he's at a crossroads...
I'm feeling really weak right now. Teary. This is my Daddy we're talking about. The one who I knew always had my back. No one in my neighborhood with mess with me or my sister because they'd have him to deal with. This is one of my best friends we're talking about; someone that I could just sit and chat with for hours. This is the Poppy to my boys - who does all he can to be at their games, cheering them on. Who loves them so much and their still too young to really comprehend it. This is a man who isn't perfect but made choices that changed the spiritual path of our family for eternity. He's made mistakes - but who hasn't? God sees the heart and his heart is tender.
I HATE CANCER.
I do. I was taught not to hate because it means that you dislike something so much you wish it was dead / nonexistent. So throughout my life when there was something that I really really really didn't like I would say that I disliked it to the point of hate. Guess what? That is exactly how I feel about cancer except it truly crosses the line to hate. I despise it and the havoc it wreaks on families. We've had to say good-bye to too many family members because of cancer and although I know there is the promise of seeing them again in eternity but that knowledge isn't cutting it for me right now. Just being real and raw at the moment.
It's not taking my tears away but I know that HE knows what I'm going through.
3 comments:
Love you sis1
Honey, thank you so much for your love, your care, and yuor prayers for Daddy (Poppy)! He loves you so much. Your prayers and your love are so strong and mighty and accomplish so much more than you can even imagine. Your sharing from your heart blessed me so much, and with tears streaming down my face, I was beautifully ministered to by the song, "My World Is Shaking" just as you were. Let's just continue to keep our eyes on the Lord Jesus Christ and not the circumstances. He is so much greater than any circumstance and He still has much purpose and destiny for Daddy to fulfill!
Love you so much, Sweetie! Mom
The Klingers are praying! We love your daddy too and are standing with you guys in prayer!!!!
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