This was my facebook status today.
What I wanted to write about was our vacation and fiddle with some pics. No time today and not really motivated to do so. Why?
I received news on Monday that my cousin (he is 3 years older than me) was in a horrible accident this past weekend. He is in the ICU and they are concerned about the extent of his injuries - especially to his brain. On Tuesday, I learned of a tragedy that occurred to a family from our church that has left them without their husband / father.
Why?
Such a loaded question. One that I have dealt with many times - especially over the last 10 years (Journey of Faith or Worship classify many of these posts). Through our trying to get pregnant for almost two years...Simms' multiple operations - a situation that is still not completely healed and the doctor's still don't have an answer...my Brother-in-love Rayda's heart surgeries, coding at the hospital and recovery...my Mother-in-love's diagnosis with cancer two days after we welcomed our firstborn and the battle she fought for 15 months...the many family members that have been stricken with cancer - some have gone to be with the Lord, and others are still fighting it - my Dad specifically...my Father-in-love's quadruple bypass surgery and recovery. These are the biggies - the ones that caused the question "why?" to dare cross my lips. These are the ones that I don't have any answers to. And I don't have to.
I'm allowed to cry. I'm allowed to feel the pain and frustration. I'm even allowed to ask why.
Although there are times when I have felt alone on this journey, He has always been there. Amidst the questions that seem to lack answers, He is still God.
I have free will. I can choose to allow circumstances to control me. I can choose to scream about the pain and focus on the injustices. I can attempt to find reasons for the ails of life. The problem is all of these choices don't give me the peace that I so desire.
It might not make sense, but the simple statement God is God is what infuses me with peace. That is what gives me comfort. There is so much about Him that I do not understand or comprehend but I do know that He is love, He is faithful and ultimately He is victorious.
I just had to add some pictures of His Creation. Both serene and powerful - straight out of the camera goodness.
2 comments:
Great post sis. Love you so much and your honesty and heart. This has definitely been a tough week, but He is still on the throne and reigns!!!
We need to get together for coffee, talking and/or photo sharing! I cannot wait to hear all about your trip! Maybe you should have the family over and then show us your photos with some narrative! :) (and we will do coffee and talking another time!)
Good post. Tough season indeed. Was so glad to hug your neck last week, but I wish we'd had time to talk a little. Hug some more and cry together.
Now, I'm trying to gain some control over my home again and wrestle my to-do lists back to normal proportions. So much to do! And my list of blogs to catch up on? OY!
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