Reflection: Some Details

During my time of reflection on this past year, one of the things that I kept going back to with God was asking him about the meaning of this year. For the past few years I have been asking Him what He has for our family and when 2008 began I believe He told me it was going to be a year of increase. I admit I was puzzled. What does that mean? Increase in what? I didn't get a specific answer so I happily skipped into the year expecting something fun - maybe even exciting.

We've experienced some fun and even exciting moments but it would be dishonest to ignore all of the tough stuff we've been walking through and enduring. We have praised Him in the storm - it just feels like it's been a really long storm.

I was pondering this again Wednesday morning while driving to meet a friend and mentor for lunch. Increase? Increase in what? What does that mean anyway? Was that even from you God? (mentally listing all of the annoying things that have happened this year only to be countered by all of the good things) *huff* Increase. I don't even know if I want to ask you what is in store for next year. I'm half-kidding. You know that but I'm kind of not too. I arrive to my destination without an answer. I put this on the back-burner, reminding God that I really need insight on this and meet my friend for lunch.

It's a good thing that we prayed before we started to eat because I think I would have spit out whatever was in my mouth when she prayed for me and my family "...for increase and favor..." Why? Again with this word?!?!?

Still wrestling.

Evening arrived and I began to drive with my boys to church for our Christmas Celebration. We were in traffic. How much? Enough that I was paying attention to the license plate in front of me. The first three letters were ETA. And I thought Estimated Time of Arrival...don't know when that will be...why is there traffic?...God when is our ETA?...when will all of this be done? Don't ask me why because I don't do this - at least not the logical side of me anyway. Two numbers after the ETA were 35 and for some reason I thought I was supposed to look up a chapter 35 in the Bible. Okay, I thought, rolling my eyes, is this going to tell me my ETA? My question was both challenging and hopeful.

I went to bed reminding myself that I'd have to check into this tomorrow. I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't go to sleep. I admittedly tossed and turned a bit, silently reminding God how tired I have been. Still wide awake, I got out of bed and walked downstairs to open my Bible. I quickly found Isaiah 35. Yes. This was exactly what I needed. The chapter is titled "The Future Glory of Zion" in my Bible and it reads:

The wilderness and the wasteland shall be glad for them,
And the desert shall rejoice and blossom as the rose;
It shall blossom abundantly and rejoice,
Even with joy and singing.
The glory of Lebanon shall be given to it,
The excellence of Carmel and Sharon.
They shall see the glory of the Lord,
The excellency of our God.

Strengthen the weak hands,
And make firm the feeble knees.
Say to those who are fearful-hearted,
"Be strong, do not fear!
Behold, your God will come with vengeance,
With the recompense of God;
He will come and save you."

Then the eyes of the blind shall be opened,
And the ears of the deaf shall be unstopped.
Then the lame shall leap like a deer,
And the tongue of the dumb sing.
For waters shall burst forth in the wilderness,
And streams in the desert.
The parched ground shall become a pool,
And the thirsty land springs of water;
In the habitation of jackals, where each lay,
There shall be grass with reeds and rushes.

A highway shall be there, and a road,
And it shall be called the Highway of Holiness.
The unclean shall not pass over it,
But it shall be for others.
Whoever walks the road, although a fool,
Shall not go astray.
No lion shall be there,
Nor shall any ravenous beast go up on it;
It shall not be found there.
But the redeemed shall walk there,
And the ransomed of the Lord shall return,
And come to Zion with singing,
With everlasting joy on their heads.
They shall obtain joy and gladness,
And sorrow and sighing shall flee away. Isaiah 35:1-10 NKJV

The voice of my Father grows stronger and quiets everything else that has been vying for my attention. I still feel the pains and hurts of this journey but they are not dominating me. His arms of comfort and strength have encompassed me, allowing me to stand another day with a renewed vision of our destination.