I don't even know where to begin. There are so many ways that our two sons are similar but recently Barber is highlighting their differences.
Example #1: Last Friday morning when Simms went to get Barber up he found holes in his pillowcase - ripped lengthwise...essentially shredded! Simms asked, "Did you do this?" Barber charmingly smiled and proclaimed with pride "YES!" Simms asked him how and Barber proceeded to find a loose piece of thread and tear it until another large gaping hole was formed. Ahem. Needless to say, he is now informed that making holes in our pillowcases (or anything else material-like) is destructive behavior and is not allowed...and for now he only gets the polyesterish pillowcases, NOT the soft cotton ones.
Example #2: Barber has been in a pseudo toddler bed (crib on 3 sides, bedrail being the 4th) for about six months. He hasn't gone to the twin bed yet for a couple reasons: we plan on doing that when we re-do his room (in the works for this spring/summer) and I sensed that he was not able to handle the responsibility of staying in bed. I was right...really right. Read on. Meanwhile, lil' sis was given a toddler bed. Since her son is only one year old, she gave it to my mom and dad to use at their home for Barber. This bed has "built-in" rails on the side - but they only go 1/3 of the way down each side so you cannot put a traditional bedrail on it. We have since learned that Barber needs the bedrail to deter him from getting out of bed rather than prevent him from falling out. While he has been "napping" at Grammie and Poppy's house he has changed the settings on Grammie's clock, taken a peppermint off of Poppy's nightstand, chewed it and spat it out on their white carpet and hope chest, and TODAY (the other two incidents happened on two separate occasions last week) he decided to investigate their master bathroom...definitely NOT a place for his age and level of curiosity. Last straw! Third strike! Whatever you want to call it...final answer...he is done! Obviously the various forms of discipline implemented are NOT resulting in changed behavior. So...new tactic...he lost his freedom (because he cannot handle it) and will ONLY be in the pack-n-play at their home until further notice. How long will this change last? Until he can demonstrate that he can be trusted and no, I don't know how long that will take. Right now I am picturing what a teenage boy would look like trying to sleep in a pack-n-play.
Lil' sis inquired how God will use Barber's curiosity and investigative nature in the future. I DON'T KNOW! Meanwhile I have to somehow properly channel it and pray for the wisdom needed to do this without squelching it!
Oh...and while he was sitting on the potty today for 10 minutes Grammie asked in an encouraging voice, "Barber, what are you doing on the potty?" His answer? "What am I doing? (he answers you by first repeating your question)...m&m's". *Sigh*...another story for another day.
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I'm laughing with you! My wise mother once told me (laughingly!) that the goal of the second child is to be as different as possible from the first child. In my young "I got this parenting thing licked" mind, I smiled indulgently and went on my merry way. Not even one week later, my second little monkey got caught "teaching" his older, far more compliant and less-likely-to-take-risks older brother how to CLIMB the bookshelf and sit on top of the desk. You remember our first house, I was in the kitchen doing laundry and they were in the middle room - HOW DID THAT HAPPEN??!! Yes, laugh now - crying about it just stuffs you up :)
Well, it shows he is persistent and curious which can be a really fantastic traits. My second seemed so much harder than my compliant first, and I prayed a lot that he wouldn't feel bad about himself because some days were so difficult. And I prayed that I would know how to deeply love him. Of course, God then showed me that he is me (!!) in so many ways which gave me a lot more grace. And now, those days now seem so far behind. His teachers literally gush over his helpful, cooperative attitude and say they wish they could trade large chunks of the class for him. I keep thinking about this because my #4 is so much like him.
I am laughing because if I don't I will cry! I feel your pain!!!
I have three children, ages 10, 9, and 6 and have spent too much time crying and not enough laughing in the past.
You know how two-year-olds are famous for asking, "Why?" Sometimes I think God must feel I am a perpetual two-year-old as I am constanly asking Him, "Why?" Why is parenting so hard? Why am I so frustrated? Why? Why? Why?
I am so thankful He has shown me He is using my children and my struggles as a mother to refine me like silver, and make me into the woman He wants me to be. This knowledge doesn't make the hard times "easier," but I have hope in them now and that has made a HUGE difference to me.
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