More Than a Family

I am ALL about family - the importance of it, the relationships, the love, etc. This does not mean that I don't experience the frustration or hurt that can occur in any relationship but I recognize the value of working through the tough times so that I can experience the jewel that results. The key is that BOTH parties need to be willing to survive the pressure cooker. This is not always easy - and is a tough variable that exists in every relationship.

I have been blessed with a family that is more than just flesh and blood - we are actually friends with each other. I took this for granted for a l-o-n-g time. Pretty much until I went away for college. I knew families were different and I was able to observe those differences throughout school but it wasn't until college that I began to appreciate the way my family was and didn't want it to be any other way.

Some examples of how "weird" our family was/is:

1. My sister is actually my best life-long friend (I don't like the sole label of "best friend" because I am blessed to have a number of people in my life that qualify as such). She is one that I can confide in and know that I will never be judged and nothing I say will be used against me. We have always encouraged each other throughout life - never competed against each other (and it was annoying when other people would compare us to one another b/c we don't do that!). She is my "lil' sis" but technically I don't remember being the "big" sis - I am 4 inches shorter than her and don't truly recall when I was taller although pictures do show that I was at one point; By the time I was in 4th grade and she was in Kindergarten we were the same height! A benefit to this was that we got to share clothes - double the wardrobe! There are times when our life experiences vary and we don't always understand the why/how of what each is going through, but, in the end, regardless of the circumstances there is the two of us. She is my sister, my friend, my supporter, one that I can confide in and trust, one who I know will pray. I am truly grateful that God blessed me with my lil' sis.

2. My parents have actually become two of my "best" friends. This was NOT right away. We had our squabbles and didn't always see eye to eye but one thing always brought us back together - unconditional love. You can read more about this in my "signs of love" post. There is 31 years between me and my parents but I enjoy "hanging out" with them. My mom and dad are two of the people that I enjoy being on the phone with for more than 5 minutes (I am not really a phone person). I love to shop with my Mom - and she hasn't paid for my stuff since college so it is really just for her company! I listen to my Dad's stories about anything and everything and try to write them down because no matter how much I try to inspire him, he does not like to write himself. So someone has to do it and I have kind of taken on that responsibility. I will listen to his stories, even when it feels like the 50th time - you never know when a new "nugget" will be revealed. I like working on projects with my mom - painting, crafting, and learning how to teach phonics to my boys. She is amazing with children and an inspiration to me.

3. My husband, Simms is my "bestest" friend! He knows me so well and loves me even more. My life is complete with him. I don't know if he fully knew what he was getting into when he said "I do" but I know that we are both thankful for the journey. We became friends in zoology lab and continued to learn how to work together being lab partners for the 3 years of college. What a great foundation that was! Anything that we go through in life (which is a lot of stuff when you are married...there is always something) our motto is to approach it as a team. We know when we work together we will be successful. It has worked for almost 13 years of marriage now and I know it will continue! One of the greatest gifts of our union is how our families "merged" together. He is truly a son to my parents (there have been many times that they spend more money on him than me!!!) and I know that I am a daughter to his dad rather than an "in-law". My NY cousins enjoy it when I visit but they seem to like it more when Simms is with me. What does that tell you? It tells me that he has been a perfect fit in our family and I am blessed for it - we all are.

4. I have cousins that are more like brothers and sisters. We enjoy each other - even when we don't have the luxury of visiting often. There is a closeness that is more than just "extended" family.

5. I have aunts and uncles that can qualify as another mom or dad. My AuntCR is one that if we get on the phone together it is not going to be just a 5 minute conversation. Not going to happen.

6. There are individuals that I would say have been unofficially "adopted" into our family. It doesn't matter how or where we met - but there is a kindred spirit between us. These individuals have become sisters, brothers, sons and daughters to us. They are special and are loved. This is another aspect of my family that I cherish - we have a lot of love but there is always MORE to go around. It is endless.

I have learned that this is not considered to be the "norm" even though it is for me. We desire for this to continue from generation to generation. We choose to speak blessing over Jeter and Barber. We prayed for their relationship/friendship from the time Barber was in my womb and continue to do so. We have been blessed to see fruit - already! - in their relationship. They are friends who love each other. Do they frustrate each other from time to time? Of course - but I don't believe it is chance that Jeter was the first one to freely received hugs and kisses from Barber. I know that they will be brothers the way God intended brothers to be! They have a cousin, (many cousins when you count the children of my cousins - but one from my sister and brother - yes he is an in-law but to me, he is my brother) Brady, and while lil' sis was pregnant with him, we prayed for the relationship that they would share. It is awesome to see their relationship unfold before our very eyes. Yes, they are cousins but in many ways, they are siblings and that warms my heart.

So what is the point of this post? It gives me an opportunity to honor the family that I have. This has been burning in my heart and I was kind of waiting for the right time - and then decided that it was now. But more importantly, I believe that there are many out there who desire to have something like this and it is to you that I want to encourage - you can make this happen in your family. My family does not need to be the only "weirdos" in this world! Examine what your priorities are and make family the #1 priority (after God of course). This is what my parents did - they taught me and lil' sis how important our family was through their words and actions. I know this is why our marriages and family units are so strong. I know this is why future generations will be blessed. It is work, and it is not always easy (as I mentioned before ALL parties need to be on board for this to work 100%) but the reward is great! Most of all - PRAY. Pray for the kind of relationship you desire to have with your spouse, your children, your siblings, your parents, and your extended family. God hears our prayers and answers them. I don't always understand the timing but I know that He is listening because I do see some fruit and am praying with expectancy for what I don't see yet.

Psalm 37:4 "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart"