Signs of Love

Love. Its a word that is used very often and yet, sometimes not enough - or in the way that people need to hear it.

I love God. I love my husband. I love my boys. I love my family. I love chocolate. I love a clean house. I love music. I love... You get the point. I do remember in high school when we were reading Shakespeare talking about different forms of love (a credit to my English teacher, Mrs. L). There are four major forms of love: romantic, platonic, religious and familial. And yes, that means that chocolate is platonic, NOT romantic. Sorry to all those chocolate lovers out there. LOL. I would also add that within each of the four forms there is the option of it being conditional or unconditional. Examples: I would really love chocolate if it didn't have any unwanted calories or carbs (conditional). I love chocolate no matter how man carbs or calories or fat I consume (unconditional). And since we are on the subject of chocolate - dark is my favorite!

I am blessed to have grown up in an environment of unconditional love. I have known nothing else. This does NOT mean that I was always obedient or that my parents did not get fed up with my antics now and then. However, it does mean that I knew that when I did screw up, no matter what else changed in my life as a result of the mistake, their love for me would be constant. I am sure that this has impacted many aspects of my life - I am going to focus on two at the moment.

1. It made it easier for me to comprehend how much my Heavenly Father loves me no matter what. I understand that in myself, I am not worthy of His love but I am able to receive it because I experienced grace and mercy from my own earthly parents.

2. I have an incredible heritage to pass on to my boys. Jeter and Barber know nothing BUT love - unconditionally - and not just from their parents but they are being blessed generationally.

Ok...so what about the title - "signs of love"? I'm getting there. WARNING: this is a L-O-N-G post.

Have you ever seen the sign for "I love you"? Basically if you hold your hand up, fingers up (not in a fist) - then bend your middle and ring fingers down. The pinki represents "I". The index and thumb form the "L" for "love" and the pinki and index finger with the space between them form the "U" for "you". I know, I know, enough with the education! I just can't help myself...once a teacher, always a teacher.

I never used this sign before - EVER. Honestly, I never knew what it was until a special student came into my life - I'll call her Tee. She was smart and talented - but didn't really know it or give herself credit for it. She also was a hard worker. She just needed someone to listen to her - so I did. She wasn't perfect. She made mistakes. We all do. She just needed someone to take time to listen to her. So I did. So did Simms. As she got older she would come and visit us and talk. When she left she would make the sign with her hand. Honestly (and this is embarrassing) I had no idea what she was doing. Wasn't that what they did at rock concerts? She finally told me what it meant (or Simms did) and then I "got it". So that became a sign for us. A sign of caring for someone - no matter what. Recently circumstances made it so that I wasn't there for her (yes, we have remained relatively close throughout the years - going on 11 this January). Is it because we are far apart distance-wise? Maybe. Is it because I've got my hands full with Jeter and Barber? Maybe. There are probably a lot of contributing factors. But right now, none of them seem good enough. Prayerfully she'll know and remember that no matter what she is loved unconditionally.

Lil' sis taught the sign to Jeter when he was 3 or 4. He often made the sign for "hang loose" instead but finally got it. Well, it has now become our sign. Every morning when the bus comes and he gets on line, we say good-bye and sometimes he even gives me a kiss. Then he walks on to the bus and gets in his seat. He moves so that he can see me out the window and we each sign "I love you". He says that this way he can tell me that he loves me without everyone hearing it. My prayer is that both Jeter and Barber will always know unconditional love the way I did - through the ups and downs of life - and that this is the ONLY way they will know how to love.