"That's Not Fair"

Those were the words spoken by my dear Jeter on Monday afternoon.

On Friday he informed me that his "school bus" on the behavior chart was moved from green to yellow (they all start on green each day, poor behavior causes it to be moved to yellow and if they continue with poor behavior, the bus moves to red and they receive a time out). Here was the basics of our conversation:

Mommy: Why was your bus moved?
Jeter: I don't know.
Mommy: Was there a problem with your behavior?
Jeter: No. I don't think so.
Mommy: Well, the buses have to do with behavior. Were you listening to your teacher or talking when you shouldn't be?
Jeter: No. I can't remember.

Are you kidding me?!? Can't remember?!? Do you think I am going to fall for that?!?

So I told him that we needed to know and that I was going to email his teacher because it was important for him to know what he did. This way he can make sure to make changes to his behavior. Then I got creative with my questions.

Mommy: So...do lots of kids have their buses moved to yellow?
Jeter: No.
Mommy: Have any students had their buses moved to red?
Jeter: Yes.
Mommy: Did any other students have their bus moved to yellow today?
Jeter: Yes (and he named the two)
Mommy: Why did they have to move their bus?
Jeter: I think it was because they were talking.
Mommy: Oh. When did they have to move their bus? Was it the same time as you or a different time?
Jeter: Same time.

BUSTED!!! And yet, he continued to state that he didn't think he was talking when he shouldn't have been. He was sure of it. I reminded him of the email and that we would find out for sure. He was fine with that.

The response from his teacher came on Monday. According to her, he and two others were "messing around" on the carpet when they were supposed to be working at their stations quietly. She warned them but they continued and therefore they were each asked to move their bus.

I WAS NOT HAPPY! Definitely not. I was severely disappointed and knew that consequences needed to take place on the homefront. He already received a consequence for not listening to his teacher (moving the bus) and apparently he heeded it enough so it didn't move to red, but he lied to me and Simms. He needed to know that is never acceptable. I knew that this was a trial in Jeter's life. God desires to bring him to a new level. My prayer is that he learns from this trial quickly so that we can all move on - and yet, I know that I have to prepare myself for the long haul if necessary.

Simms and I talked about it and came up with our gameplan. I had to handle it when Jeter got home from school Monday. Let me tell you, I did a lot of praying that day. I prayed that God would keep me calm, that he would prepare Jeter's heart for correction, and that above all that His will would be accomplished.

The bus arrived and we walked home. I gave Jeter an opportunity to "fess up" but he didn't. Stood by his "I don't remember" with a scowl on his face. I told him that we were going to have a talk about this. We got home and went into the kitchen to sit down and have our chat. I will admit I was still praying silently in my head - I know that He answers prayer and He loves Jeter more than I do so I know that as much as I desire for Jeter to have victory in this, God does even moreso.

Mommy: Jeter, you know that in our family we consider it very important to be able to trust one another and therefore we need to always be honest with each other?
Jeter: Yes.
Mommy: And you know how your Daddy is a Man of Integrity which means that he is true to his word. What he says you can rely on. He is an honest man. He is trustworthy.
Jeter: Yes. (kind of like a "get to the point mom" attitude)
Mommy: You know that this is the same thing that we expect out of you and Barber as well?
Jeter: Yes.

So we talked about the whole incident. One of his responses reminded me of the prophet Paul when he told me that "he wants to listen to his teacher and knows he should but sometimes his body doesn't listen to him". Yes, his is ONLY 5. We finished talking about it and then I had to tell him the consequences - no TV for the rest of Monday and all day Tuesday and he would go to bed early Monday night - before Barber. Wow. He was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo upset - and moreso about the bed time. That one put him over the edge. We had lots of tears - and then through those tears he said:

"Do you know what the color of white in the flag means? Fairness. And you're not being FAIR!"

Tears and sobbing continued. I am not proud of this but I had to work really hard NOT to laugh. Oh my. Finally he slowed down and crawled into my lap and asked me to pray. I did. While I prayed I felt like the Lord reminded me that although I saw tears, he needed to verbally repent to God for his sin and ask for forgiveness.

Mommy: Jeter, you understand now that your actions were sinful?
Jeter: (through tears) Yes
Mommy: That sin has caused there to be a separation between you and God...
Jeter: What? (now LOTS of tears and sobs - he is devastated) For how long????
Mommy: Only until you tell God you are sorry for your sin and ask Him for forgiveness. That is why Jesus died on the cross...remember?
Jeter: (through tears but more calm) Yes.

Jeter prayed. God filled him with His peace. Thank you GOD. You are faithful and true to your Word. It hasn't been long since the incident and I am not saying that we will not have to follow up on this again but I could see that there was a heart change - for me, that is an answer to prayer.