Week Seven: I May be Down but Don't Count Me Out

If you recall from two weeks ago, I learned that time is definitely important to me. Since then, I've realized when I sense that my time is so filled that I am constantly going, I stop taking care of myself. Simplified this means decrease in exercise and increase in snacking. This would be the exact opposite of my goals! Quite unhealthy.

In my reflection on this I realized this is the root of the issue for me. When I first experienced the weight gain, it was after Jeter was born - no, actually it was after Jeter was three months old. Initially I had lost almost all the baby weight with only 8 pounds to go. And then my world became very stressful. In the 9 months that followed, Simms' mom battled cancer as we were learning how to be parents for the first time. Simms had started a new job. One of my coworkers became strangely ill and we had a total of 7 students die in our school district. Simms' Aunt was diagnosed with cancer. My parents were still in LI and my sister was planning her wedding. Meanwhile Simms' accountability partner moved south and dear friends of ours experienced some major hurt in their lives. Our support system was strained at best. We got through it (because of God) and I had gained back 20 pounds. I've never quite got down to that 8 pounds to go mark since then.

Just two weeks ago I realized that it was close again. Four pounds to go and I would be there - with only 8 to go for my pre-pregnancy weight to Jeter. Wow! Really?!?

And then my schedule became really busy - with lots of things that needed to be done now. Stuff that comes with the job of being mommy and wife and ministry leader and volunteer at the elementary school and preparing for a weeks vacation that is supposed to be relaxing but is reminding me too much of why I never wanted to miss a day of school because it was so annoying to prepare for a substitute. *breathe* And the toll on me wasn't just task-laden. There were emotional strains - Jeter telling us about a bully at school (he hasn't been bullied but he is stressed about anything sensitive about him being "leaked" and then becoming a target) is one example. Others I am not going to discuss here. And Simms ended up having a few late nights at work. Result? Instead of exercising 5 or 6 times each week, it decreased to 3 and I was rewarding myself for "keeping it all together" with a piece of chocolate...almost daily.

How has this impacted the scale? I've gained 1.3 pounds. That means instead of having worked off a total of 10.1 pounds, my total is now 8.8 pounds. This is still great but I was really hoping to get those 4 pounds off (with the 8 to go!) before our vacation. That may not be feasible now and that is okay but I have to make sure that this sense of failure doesn't cause me to go into a personal downward tailspin. And it isn't like those things I wrote about in the previous paragraph have *poof* disappeared. That isn't the solution. I need to be able to still make myself a priority amidst all of the stuff - which means that I cannot afford to selflessly give to others to the point where there isn't anything left for me. This is what I am still learning and I do believe I will have victory. Why?

I hear my mom encouraging me in my youth, reminding me that this (victory) is what my name means.

I hear my Father whisper Philippians 4:13 in my ear and I believe that His Word is truth...I really can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.