Five Daily Goals

Barber is edging closer to 4 everyday. This does not make me sad. I think the year between 3-4 is a very strong one foundationally in a child - and therefore (to me) it can be one of the most difficult for parents. At 2 children are learning their boundaries which, it appears, many dread. Honestly, this is not difficult for me; I can handle teaching this with ease - probably because it is more head knowledge. By the age of 3 they know their boundaries and are now testing how far (if at all) they can be stretched. This is where the difficulty lies - because I believe during this time you are dealing more with their heart. This is why a portion of my parenting is directly with Barber and the other part is on my knees crying out to God to give us wisdom and discernment in our parenting and to show unconditional love through the process. I ask that only His plan for Barber would be fulfilled; that Barber would increase in his sensitivity to God and both hear and heed His prompting.

I believe the key to getting through this time successfully (for all parties) is heavily dependent on our seeking the Lord. Reason being - our children are not cookie cutters. Although they have similarities, they are unique treasures as well. And who knows them better than their Creator? So we pray, seek and then obey what we believe He is telling us to do. This can be tiring and I can't imagine doing this without Simms. I've also learned that flexibility is key. What is working this week may not next and what works for Barber may or may not work for another child.

However I did want to share what is working right now. It's a chart (are you surprised?) The boys definitely respond well to positive reinforcement - even if it's only stickers. Some adaptations (I told you...flexibility) have been to hang the chart on the closet door in the boys/guest bathroom. Barber sees the chart every time he goes potty and this is where every day ends with brushing the teeth in preparation for bed. This was good for Simms and I because when it was posted in the kitchen...we sometimes forgot - rendering the chart ineffective.

This is Barber's 3rd chart (first one being the potty chart and second because he wanted to be like Jeter) and has been quite effective. It is titled "Barber's Daily Goals" and here are his five goals:
1. Telling the Truth / No lying
2. Thinking of Others / No selfishness
3. Being a Good Listener / No talking back
4. Being Obedient / No disobedience
5. Self-control / No temper tantrums

Through this we emphasize the positive - the behavior that is desired. At the end of the day he gets to select and post stickers in the category where he was successful. Last week there were two days where he had all 5 stickers! You can only imagine how glorious those days were for this mama! There were also two days where he only received 2 stickers. Not so fun but obviously lessons needed to be learned and I am seeing good fruit through the process.

Barber and Jeter are both miraculous blessings from God. They both are strong children and at times I believe I've seen glimpses of how these gifts will bring glory to our God. That is why I am willing to get in the trenches now. I know (and have seen evidenced in Jeter's life) that it is worth it.

So...wherever you are at in this journey, be encouraged. It is worth it.